Many times in life, your peers give you positions of responsibility, because they believe that the task will be handled well by you. They trust that the various challenges the task poses will be best handled by you, and that you will help the team perform efficiently and smoothly. They hope to feel organized and productive under your regime. They expect you will respect their interests and still make sure that the task at hand is addressed properly. Do you realize that being a leader is not just limited to finishing the task at hand? Do you notice that it is not an easy task to lead a team to pursue a set of goals? Do you see how important it is for a leader to be firm, yet morally righteous? Does it strike that the leader is the icon that represents the team, and his character is reflected in the team’s attitude? No wonder we have few great leaders. In all other cases, the team is subjected to unwanted authority, unwarranted bias, and unpleasant reprimand. If you have experienced such a situation, you will know how horrible it feels, because you cannot go against the leader, as you want to keep the integrity of the team intact, but in this process are forced to go against your own morals and ethics. In this section, I just want to bring to light how we end up losing our identity when under the influence of such leadership.
I sometimes wonder if we really need leaders? What if there were none? And the answer comes straight – if there are no leaders, the world will end up in utter chaos. It is really a spectacle to watch a group of people performing wonders while motivated by a single man who is able to command the team, yet the team feels inspired and motivated rather than suppressed and opposed.
The trouble begins when the leader does not understand this. When he does not have the slightest concern for the people under him, the only thing that matters to him is if the task gets done. When it becomes too hard for him to handle the work and he tries to hide it by blaming it on the team. When he uses his authority to harass people he does not like, and to incentivize people he favors. When he does not understand ethics and his actions are driven by desire to “send a message” of authority, and when his actions do not have any affect in his conscience at all. That is when everything begins to go wrong. That is when mistrust, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, rebellion, contempt and a variety of negative feelings breed in the group. And once this sets in, the process is irreversible. There are always people who support the authority irrespective of its status, and luckily they keep the “teamwork” running. For the remaining it is just the horrible experience I mentioned above.
We let people lead us in the hope that they will lead us to a better understanding and learning of the task at hand. But at a later point of time when we find out that the leader displays a lower level of maturity and understanding than what you believe you have acquired, then we land up in an identity crisis. Because having accepted the leadership we will have to follow the team’s policies, whereas our own ideas differ completely. So this creates mistrust and unhappiness and people realize they are stuck. If you ever come across such a situation, it is essential preserve your identity and yet be a part of the team. How is it possible? Having passed through similar situations many times and after some reflection on this, I thought of writing it down here. This is just my view about the topic; it is not my intention to create any differences.
The symptoms of a bad leader are quite visible and obvious. Some of them are listed here for your reference:
• Is Aggressive: Being aggressive is a symbol of insecurity and is essentially a failure of trust and normal communication. Whenever you see someone shouting his throat out to make himself heard, it shows the leader essentially lacks influence and support of his team.
• Lies/ Tricks/ Cheats: There are ethical ways of getting right things done. But things that are unethical can be done only using unethical means. And if the captain resorts to these, then it means he lacks ethics.
• Uses power for personal impact: Some people just want to create the image of a ‘DON’. They want to be respected and feared and they will go out of their way by exercising their power to make sure this happens. Basically these people are insecure, and need some attention.
• Promotes personal vision: Now these people just don’t care if anyone else has anything to say about the matter at hand. They know (or think that they know) what they want and will go on promoting these ideas. Irrespective of what the team feels.
• Censures critical or opposing views: Sometimes people are not content with promoting their views (which may not be strong enough) and so they try to censure critical views, often in an aggressive manner “So you think I am wrong? You think it is my fault? Are you questioning my decision?” And well most of the people cower under the pressure, or get repulsed by the vanity of taking up the task of explaining a contrasting viewpoint.
• Demands that his decisions be accepted without question: If someone cannot answer a question about his own decisions and actions, how can he do it for others? Leaders in this category form the typical martinets or dictators, like Hitler. There is no chance for anyone to say anything. Or at least that’s what the demand is.
• One- way communication: He will do the talking. Your role is to listen. Some time he will grace you by allowing you to say, “Yes” or “No”. Your input beyond this is probably insignificant, and not required to the team. Probably you are not required either.
• Insensitive to follower’s needs: Basically, they don’t really care if you are comfortable and are able to work happily and if you are not stressed out or if you find the job too difficult. All they care about is the output.
• Relies on convenient external moral standards to satisfy self – interests: The whole team may feel a certain decision is unjust and immoral. But who said that the moral standard of the team is to be decided by the team members? They are supposed to follow. These leaders, who are quite experienced in adjusting the levels according to the situation involved, suitably define the moral standards according to their convenience.
• Dilutes and Disguises: The leaders disguise their personal ideas (which are often unethical) by using euphemisms or softened versions of the decisions. For example, using phrases like “helped him make a career choice” for firing an employee, “inappropriate allocation of resources” for an act of stealing, “helped in rediscovering passions” for rustication from an academic setting, etc. are typically seen in such leaders.
You now know some of the symptoms of the so-called Un-ethical Leaders. Not all these traits are seen in every such leader, but it is generally a mix of these characteristics that are observed. The basic question remains – Why do leaders act this way? Don’t they have morals? If they do, are they under any pressure to compete with others who have been more successful? Or is it just the power they get due to the post that makes them take advantage? A leader is given privileged access to sensitive information for a purpose – it is expected that he will use it sensibly to handle situations and improve the overall performance by taking wise strategic decisions. But sometimes leaders may relax and enjoy the control and privileges they get, and when this happens the strategic focus is lost. For any of the reasons mentioned above (or for other reasons) the leader indulges in unethical activities, which can often be covered up by the power that comes with the position. With repeated such incidents, leaders may see themselves above law and the rules of the institution. Information about the group’s strategies is kept away from those in a lower hierarchy, and if they fail to live by these standards they are punished and abused. If they complain, they are expelled. A group of people who have been doing what the leader wishes is favored, taken given a high position praised. The others are essentially given no voice.
For any leader, acting ethically is critical if members of the organization are to see him as responsible and credible and if they are to act ethically themselves. The leadership must itself come under he law of the organization. Using unethical means to exercise power and create fear and friction in the organization can never lead to a successful effort. It is much better to keep away form such team, even if it is well established, and successful than to work with them and lose ones identity in the process.
If you have also seen these traits in leaders around you, then you can now relate these to the discussion I have been building up. In such cases it is important to modify the leadership to make the organization work better. Some of the steps that can be taken for this are suggested here.
• Communicate with others about your ideas: It is possible that you have not exactly understood why the decision had to be taken. Talk with various teammates, talk to the leader and anyone concerned. Clarify if you still believe the decision is unethical. Ask yourself why and be sure you know it.
• Propose to the people: Discuss with others why you feel the particular decision taken is unethical and see if people are in general agreement or disagreement. You can even discuss the issue with the leader, if he is open to it.
• Propose to the captain: If you feel that the public feels the decision is not appropriate mention this to the leader and notice his stand. If he sees reason, and relents/ explains the matter further, he is probably genuine. But if he uses any of the techniques that have been mentioned above, he is clearly indulging in an unethical activity, and something must be done about it.
• Garner support: The public need to know that the leadership takes a stand against them, because most of the time it is concealed due to the influence of the leader. There must be general awareness about the leader’s attitude towards the issues.
• Collective Decision: Arrive at a collective decision on what can be done in order to stop the leaders unethical actions and take action accordingly.
A strong leadership inspires a strong organization,
A strong leadership can also inspire a weak organization
But a weak leadership will destroy any organization; render it inefficient, and unsuccessful.
It is our responsibility to take initiatives in our daily life to inculcate ethical leadership in ourselves as well as our organization. With constant perseverance and conscious effort it is possible. It is not at all possible by submitting passively to the leaders wishes. By asserting ones rights, and views it can surely be achieved.
The views expressed on leadership are a result of carefully contemplation and research. They may appear as very sharp or striking, but it has been done only to create an effect. The intention of the article is to sensitize you to the ways of unethical leaders and be wary of them.
Wednesday 31 August 2011
Sunday 3 July 2011
That thing called "Trust"
“I trust you” … this is a common sentence in many of our everyday dealings. Trusting is a very natural form of bonding between members of a society, and it’s a beautiful feeling indeed, to trust, and to be trusted. But trusting effects an individual in many ways and it is, I feel, useful to understand the consequences of trusting someone, or being trusted by someone. Also trust is a means to achieve better social credibility and surprisingly also a medium to realize oneself as we will see further down the essay.
So, what is trust? It is hard to define, and has many definitions to it. But in a broad sense, “trust” encompasses 2 kinds of beliefs - a belief that the trusted will act the way the trustee expected him to, or a belief that that the trusted will not act in a way unacceptable to the trustee. Simple enough? The consequences of trusting in a social setup can be exceedingly complex, though. In order that we remain happy and well connected in the society, it is important to use capability to trust others wisely and well. In this article I will put up certain implications and effects of trusting, which I have experienced personally, and believe have a positive impact.
The first question that comes to mind is - why trust someone at all? Well, life is full of risks, and risk breeds fear. Fear adds inhibition, which leads to unproductivity. Trusting wards of fear, fills one with confidence to take risks, tackle problems, and face life. Besides, trust triggers affection and love, grants company, creates a sense of self-identity, and has many other advantages. But ironically, trusting itself is a risky job, because it makes one vulnerable. It raises levels of expectation, which often hurts people, which in turn causes trouble in relationships.
To trust someone, you need to grant vulnerability or weakness to that person. There is an inherent risk involved – he may misuse it, but then that is what you expect him not to do. And granting vulnerability also makes you realize yourself better. Each time you trust someone with your weakness, you realize that it is your weakness, and unconsciously you take precautions to protect your interests, which strengthen your personality. Thus we have the “increased confidence” effect of trust. Try it yourself. Once you trust someone with a weakness of yours, you will be much more comfortable “being yourself” with that person, than with others. In this way, you can reinforce your personality and your self by trusting others.
As you trust a person with more and more of your vulnerabilities, your intimacy with that person increases, and so does your comfort level. This is typically the best part of a relationship. But there is one problem with trust – it has a “corruptive” effect. Suppose a person whom you trust a lot behaves in a way you don’t warrant. The trust in that case is broken. It hurts you, and simultaneously reduces your trust in all other kinds situations. With a couple of other such incidences, your capability to trust people will have been drastically reduced, and you find it difficult to trust not just the person who broke your trust, but anyone in general. This is the problem why most of the breakups happen. And after trust is broken once you become more difficult to trust again. So, it is essential to understand how trust is “corruptive” and trust people wisely.
There is no rule “written” anywhere that a person who has accepted and understood 100 feelings of yours will also advocate the 101st feeling. Differences are always there, waiting to creep in. How then can you manage to still maintain the trust?
Every one has his/her own defense mechanism. By granting vulnerability gradually, and by avoiding topics where you are not understood or opposed, and reducing expectation levels from others, granting them space and being assertive of your own, trust can be kept alive.
It is beautiful to be able to trust someone. If you notice that someone has broken your trust, and then you feel miserable, and wish to trust no one else, it is due to the corruptive effect of trust. Every one seeks partnership, intimacy, and love. Everyone responds favorably to these, and they will surely reflect it back upon you. Grant vulnerability, wisely, but freely, and harness your expectation levels, to get a wonderful perspective at the world around you – full of caring friends and trusted acquaintances. Build up your relations gradually so, you get to know the person well before trusting him/her with personal information. Otherwise, Happy trusting!
So, what is trust? It is hard to define, and has many definitions to it. But in a broad sense, “trust” encompasses 2 kinds of beliefs - a belief that the trusted will act the way the trustee expected him to, or a belief that that the trusted will not act in a way unacceptable to the trustee. Simple enough? The consequences of trusting in a social setup can be exceedingly complex, though. In order that we remain happy and well connected in the society, it is important to use capability to trust others wisely and well. In this article I will put up certain implications and effects of trusting, which I have experienced personally, and believe have a positive impact.
The first question that comes to mind is - why trust someone at all? Well, life is full of risks, and risk breeds fear. Fear adds inhibition, which leads to unproductivity. Trusting wards of fear, fills one with confidence to take risks, tackle problems, and face life. Besides, trust triggers affection and love, grants company, creates a sense of self-identity, and has many other advantages. But ironically, trusting itself is a risky job, because it makes one vulnerable. It raises levels of expectation, which often hurts people, which in turn causes trouble in relationships.
To trust someone, you need to grant vulnerability or weakness to that person. There is an inherent risk involved – he may misuse it, but then that is what you expect him not to do. And granting vulnerability also makes you realize yourself better. Each time you trust someone with your weakness, you realize that it is your weakness, and unconsciously you take precautions to protect your interests, which strengthen your personality. Thus we have the “increased confidence” effect of trust. Try it yourself. Once you trust someone with a weakness of yours, you will be much more comfortable “being yourself” with that person, than with others. In this way, you can reinforce your personality and your self by trusting others.
As you trust a person with more and more of your vulnerabilities, your intimacy with that person increases, and so does your comfort level. This is typically the best part of a relationship. But there is one problem with trust – it has a “corruptive” effect. Suppose a person whom you trust a lot behaves in a way you don’t warrant. The trust in that case is broken. It hurts you, and simultaneously reduces your trust in all other kinds situations. With a couple of other such incidences, your capability to trust people will have been drastically reduced, and you find it difficult to trust not just the person who broke your trust, but anyone in general. This is the problem why most of the breakups happen. And after trust is broken once you become more difficult to trust again. So, it is essential to understand how trust is “corruptive” and trust people wisely.
There is no rule “written” anywhere that a person who has accepted and understood 100 feelings of yours will also advocate the 101st feeling. Differences are always there, waiting to creep in. How then can you manage to still maintain the trust?
Every one has his/her own defense mechanism. By granting vulnerability gradually, and by avoiding topics where you are not understood or opposed, and reducing expectation levels from others, granting them space and being assertive of your own, trust can be kept alive.
It is beautiful to be able to trust someone. If you notice that someone has broken your trust, and then you feel miserable, and wish to trust no one else, it is due to the corruptive effect of trust. Every one seeks partnership, intimacy, and love. Everyone responds favorably to these, and they will surely reflect it back upon you. Grant vulnerability, wisely, but freely, and harness your expectation levels, to get a wonderful perspective at the world around you – full of caring friends and trusted acquaintances. Build up your relations gradually so, you get to know the person well before trusting him/her with personal information. Otherwise, Happy trusting!
Thursday 2 June 2011
Science - "The Global Language"
Science has revolutionized the world – today technology makes our life easy and fast. We are now able to do much more work than out ancestors, with the advent of machines and computers – thanks to science. The roots of scientific thinking in man are untraceable – some scientific inquisitiveness, a quest for knowledge and learning was there ever since, may be the discovery of fire in the Paleolithic age. Making stone tools, weapons, invention of wheel, discovery and usage of metals all indicate the gradual development of scientific temperament in man. Science today looks so different, and advanced. Everyday newer discoveries are being made. All this is well known to all of us – I put it in here just for completeness.
Of late, I have been thinking along the lines as - is science as we learn today is complete by itself? Will the process of investigation ever end? If yes, when and why? Deliberating along these lines, I came up with an interesting viewpoint about how science is being taught and learnt today. The thought is radical, and I am putting it across just incase it might interest you.
First, it is important to understand what science actually is – it is essentially our understanding of the universe based on our perception of the universe. In science, all we do is try to describe this in terms of laws, patterns, theories, models etc. Most of today’s research in science is based on existing laws, which have been “proved” to be true, and any new observation is “made to” conform to the existing laws, so that they are in agreement. Hundreds of papers are being published this way.
But do you notice the fact that science is completely “objective”? It has no room for “what you feel” about something. Even before Newton had proposed the laws of motion, man knew that bodies moved. Even though they did not know about momentum and force, they somehow understood and used some principles of motion, which were unique for each individual – “subjectivity”. After Newton proposed his laws, every student is made to learn (sometimes even by rote!!) these laws and made to believe this is just how bodies move. May be it is true (verified experimentally) but do you see that there is no scope now for what the student “feels” about motion?
Science is just a “language” that you and I speak. And when we speak science we just cannot disagree with each other, (because everything had been “proved”) even though in real life we actually have different ideas about things. Influential scientists have laid down the rules of this language, and others have no say. If I ask you “Is there life on other planets?” you will tell me what you feel about it, because science has not made any law about this yet. But later on if some influential scientist discovers an answer and supplies a “proof” for it, then you will probably change your viewpoint to agree with the answer given by science. But think of it – what is this proof based on? Other proofs. And it is proofs all the way! In this way, science is killing subjectivity, or uniqueness in human thought.
I also feel, an objective description of nature is incomplete and insufficient. Why should nature conform to laws and patterns? Whenever it does not conform, we call them exceptions. Why define a pattern at all? Why can’t we understand nature more intuitively, more personally so that our views about it are also taken into account? A blind man has sharp sense of hearing; he uses a completely different theory of motion, which has nothing to do with momentum or mass. And his understanding of motion is “well adapted” to him. Then why does it not qualify to be science? The way in which science is developing today is quite narrow that way. If we are more open to other ways of understanding nature, rather than just mathematical and logical modeling, we will probably discover lots of undiscovered truths that we have been avoiding all the way…
Philosophy is also a close associate of science, but where questions are asked about nature and its ways, and answers to these questions are debated. But there is one specialty of this subject – everyone is allowed to have his or her own philosophy. They do not need to “prove” what they believe is true. You are welcome to believe God exists or that God does not exist. Or even something like God exists but he cannot influence our lives in any manner. Or just about anything that you believe is right. And it works great that way, as people come across various situations, they form opinions about why nature behaved the way it did, and try to use this experience in future for understanding nature better. It is, this way much broader, and has a much higher scope. But there is one problem - Philosophy often dwells on abstract things like God, mind, and feelings, emotions etc., which are quite complex by themselves. As such these topics cannot be modeled as such with scientific arguments. And they are not physical phenomenon either. So, philosophy cannot take over science completely. Science has its own special place. But if it could be made more subjective, it would surely have broader scope for progress.
I feel, rather than learning hundreds of formulae and equations, may be we can learn how to look at nature, and deduce our own models to work with. The original Indian Teaching system had such a curriculum, and it produced really wise people. The art of teaching and learning science this way has been lost now under the influence of Western study curriculum. I sincerely hope some day we see wisdom, in reviving back the traditional way of studying science – for in the current direction, it cannot proceed for ever- there will be a dead end some where, when man won’t be able to discover anything else. Then we will have to look for alternate viewpoints for the research to continue… and that’s when breaking objectivity will allow further research.
“Knowledge is Power”
Of late, I have been thinking along the lines as - is science as we learn today is complete by itself? Will the process of investigation ever end? If yes, when and why? Deliberating along these lines, I came up with an interesting viewpoint about how science is being taught and learnt today. The thought is radical, and I am putting it across just incase it might interest you.
First, it is important to understand what science actually is – it is essentially our understanding of the universe based on our perception of the universe. In science, all we do is try to describe this in terms of laws, patterns, theories, models etc. Most of today’s research in science is based on existing laws, which have been “proved” to be true, and any new observation is “made to” conform to the existing laws, so that they are in agreement. Hundreds of papers are being published this way.
But do you notice the fact that science is completely “objective”? It has no room for “what you feel” about something. Even before Newton had proposed the laws of motion, man knew that bodies moved. Even though they did not know about momentum and force, they somehow understood and used some principles of motion, which were unique for each individual – “subjectivity”. After Newton proposed his laws, every student is made to learn (sometimes even by rote!!) these laws and made to believe this is just how bodies move. May be it is true (verified experimentally) but do you see that there is no scope now for what the student “feels” about motion?
Science is just a “language” that you and I speak. And when we speak science we just cannot disagree with each other, (because everything had been “proved”) even though in real life we actually have different ideas about things. Influential scientists have laid down the rules of this language, and others have no say. If I ask you “Is there life on other planets?” you will tell me what you feel about it, because science has not made any law about this yet. But later on if some influential scientist discovers an answer and supplies a “proof” for it, then you will probably change your viewpoint to agree with the answer given by science. But think of it – what is this proof based on? Other proofs. And it is proofs all the way! In this way, science is killing subjectivity, or uniqueness in human thought.
I also feel, an objective description of nature is incomplete and insufficient. Why should nature conform to laws and patterns? Whenever it does not conform, we call them exceptions. Why define a pattern at all? Why can’t we understand nature more intuitively, more personally so that our views about it are also taken into account? A blind man has sharp sense of hearing; he uses a completely different theory of motion, which has nothing to do with momentum or mass. And his understanding of motion is “well adapted” to him. Then why does it not qualify to be science? The way in which science is developing today is quite narrow that way. If we are more open to other ways of understanding nature, rather than just mathematical and logical modeling, we will probably discover lots of undiscovered truths that we have been avoiding all the way…
Philosophy is also a close associate of science, but where questions are asked about nature and its ways, and answers to these questions are debated. But there is one specialty of this subject – everyone is allowed to have his or her own philosophy. They do not need to “prove” what they believe is true. You are welcome to believe God exists or that God does not exist. Or even something like God exists but he cannot influence our lives in any manner. Or just about anything that you believe is right. And it works great that way, as people come across various situations, they form opinions about why nature behaved the way it did, and try to use this experience in future for understanding nature better. It is, this way much broader, and has a much higher scope. But there is one problem - Philosophy often dwells on abstract things like God, mind, and feelings, emotions etc., which are quite complex by themselves. As such these topics cannot be modeled as such with scientific arguments. And they are not physical phenomenon either. So, philosophy cannot take over science completely. Science has its own special place. But if it could be made more subjective, it would surely have broader scope for progress.
I feel, rather than learning hundreds of formulae and equations, may be we can learn how to look at nature, and deduce our own models to work with. The original Indian Teaching system had such a curriculum, and it produced really wise people. The art of teaching and learning science this way has been lost now under the influence of Western study curriculum. I sincerely hope some day we see wisdom, in reviving back the traditional way of studying science – for in the current direction, it cannot proceed for ever- there will be a dead end some where, when man won’t be able to discover anything else. Then we will have to look for alternate viewpoints for the research to continue… and that’s when breaking objectivity will allow further research.
“Knowledge is Power”
Saturday 28 May 2011
Choosing A Career Path – “The Eternal Quandary”
Am writing this, for a friend of mine, who is at the moment facing the “difficult” situation we all go through after 10th class – deciding a career path. So many options, and so many people advising you left right and center – makes things no better… actually it just adds to the confusion and many a times students tend to make wrong choices under the pressure. Having experienced such a situation myself, I have some tips for you, to make a smooth and well-balanced selection.
1. Understand that whatever subject or career you choose, YOU have to study/work in that field at least for some time. That is because you have chosen the discipline and all its requirements and rules apply to you.
2. It is also necessary to know that the subject you study during graduation is NOT the only possible line you will be limited to upon its completion. In fact, most of the graduates change fields after graduation. This is because market now looks for people with interdisciplinary knowledge – gone are the days when people with an expertise in a single field are valued highly; now a days people look out for interdisciplinary expertise. So combinations like engineering with MBA, or even Law, have high value in the market. And of course, you can super – specialize and stick to the subject you took at graduate level too, if you really loved the discipline.
So, keep your mind open for exploring all kinds of opportunities.
3. All the disciplines have exciting career opportunities. If you are passionate about your field nothing will stop you from excelling in it, and even earning decent money in the process. So just focus on what kind of things interest you.
4. The choice, at the end is YOURS, it is not your parents’ or friend’s or mine. It is just yours. So, spend some time to yourself thinking what you want to be. Have a dream – get inspired. If you want to reach the moon, you will. But have a dream in the first place. If you have completed 10th class, now is the time to put in some serious thought about what you want to be in life. Do it before its too late; before opportunities start closing. I know it is hard to make a choice because it is all so confusing, but that’s the way it is – to live in this competitive world sometimes one has to work hard.
5. Take advise. Seek Counsel. But accept none. That’s the right attitude. This is the point of time when you will hear hundreds of people telling you what is good for you. What they suggest may be with best intentions in mind, but it need not be suitable to you all the same. So listen to everyone, but accept just to what you feel is right for you. This is very important, and most of the confusion arises due to blindly taking everyone’s views in.
6. Trust yourself – if you won’t then who will? You know your potential the best. People will say this subject is so hard, that subject is so boring, etc. That is their opinion. Not yours. If you wish to realize your dreams, come out with flying colors, then you must also be ready to give what it takes to get there. And if you lose hope listening to some person whose resolve was not strong enough, then you are already out of the race. So, trust yourself, and make a strong resolve – it is essential. If you won’t do it today, then when will you do it?
7. Research. Find out what are the options and places where you can study/work. Select the organizations carefully and understand how to get admission into them. Once this is done – your goals are set and its time to prepare yourself to give your best!
If you keep these things in mind it should be a lot easier to go about selecting your career. It is understandable that at school level you will have little idea about what kinds of courses you will have to study, what kind of work you will have to do etc. Here are a few broad guidelines to help you zero down to the field of your interest:
1. Identify the things that really fascinate you – Space, movies, machines, automobiles, weapons, ships, crime investigation – could be just anything. Make a comprehensive list of such things. Do not include hobbies or pastimes in this list. So reading, writing, eating, cooking etc. are not part of this.
2. Make a wish list – this is can have all kinds of crazy things you want in life… any thing and everything. You want it just put it in there – whether it is owning a BMW or, meeting Amir Khan, put it all in there… Make it whacky, and creative. That is your wish list and just yours.
3. Think of things/ activities close to your heart – children, helping the poor, protecting the nation, making justice, inventing new things, could be just some of them.
4. Make a list of hobbies – hobbies decide how you would like to deliver your learning or experience. I love writing; I write blogs, because I always wanted to and I am fascinated by psychology and philosophy - so my writing generally is like this. By clubbing your fascination with your hobbies you can find fields of work or study that you will really love to be in. All kinds of possibilities are there - your imagination is the limit! So make a list of things you love doing –you can put reading, writing, music, sports etc in here.
5. List out the subjects/topics you enjoyed the most till now as far as studies at school level are concerned. Think in terms of how much you are interested in learning more about these subjects, and whether the subjects fascinate you.
6. Find out the best colleges/ organizations in the country where you can seek to be admitted/employed. It is always important to aim for the best. That’s when your effort will take you places. Make a list of these colleges, and assign weightages to each depending on how badly you want to get there.
7. It is also important to have a measure of scales – about your performance in school. Lots of times, colleges just don’t accept lower percentage students. That’s just their policy, and we have to put up with it. If you do not qualify, it makes you no less competent. So, write down your scores somewhere – just for reference.
Spend enough time with this procedure – some do it in 2 – 3 days, while some may take 1 or 2 weeks. But make sure you do justice to it… and are satisfied by your work. Once you feel that, lock it and preserve your thoughts and dreams.
Well you have got some lists in hand now. Depending on your analysis, discuss what you want to become with peers, and teachers. Do not budge from the lists you have made. They were the result of careful contemplation. Others may say many nice things, but if they were really that nice, they would have struck you earlier. As I mentioned earlier, take advice but do not accept it. Clarify all your fears, doubts and questions from people, Internet or other trusted sources. If you like any of the alternatives, just confirm about it with 1 or two more sources and set your goals. Once you do this am sure you will feel light-headed. Of course, there will be anxiety about how to go about reaching your goals and what to do next. That’s a different ball-game altogether. The ones with strongest determination and iron resolve are the winners there. With proper guidance and support, and dedicated and systematic work from your side, am sure you can make it to anywhere you want. But first resolve this quandary – “What do you want to do in life?” and everything else will fall in place☺
What I have asked you to do is by no means a casual activity – you must do it seriously and persistently if it has to bear result. If you cannot be serious about what you want to become, then who do you think will be? Trust me, no one. Now is the time to take control of your life and start thinking of the future. If you have just finished 10th class, I urge you not to waste any more time – set your goals and get going!
The philosophy for making a choice at any other point in life, I feel is also similar. Whether it the confusion after graduation about doing an MBA, or going for higher studies, or taking up a job, or it is about changing from one job to another, choices have to be made at every step, and can be quite confusing. I believe the confusion arises from not knowing your own passions properly, because we hardly spend time thinking of all this. So, the same ideology can be applied for taking any decision in general - I have written it for a friend, but it is not limited to that situation - I believe it is suitable for all.
Finally, I wish you all the best in all your endeavors. May success be yours☺
1. Understand that whatever subject or career you choose, YOU have to study/work in that field at least for some time. That is because you have chosen the discipline and all its requirements and rules apply to you.
2. It is also necessary to know that the subject you study during graduation is NOT the only possible line you will be limited to upon its completion. In fact, most of the graduates change fields after graduation. This is because market now looks for people with interdisciplinary knowledge – gone are the days when people with an expertise in a single field are valued highly; now a days people look out for interdisciplinary expertise. So combinations like engineering with MBA, or even Law, have high value in the market. And of course, you can super – specialize and stick to the subject you took at graduate level too, if you really loved the discipline.
So, keep your mind open for exploring all kinds of opportunities.
3. All the disciplines have exciting career opportunities. If you are passionate about your field nothing will stop you from excelling in it, and even earning decent money in the process. So just focus on what kind of things interest you.
4. The choice, at the end is YOURS, it is not your parents’ or friend’s or mine. It is just yours. So, spend some time to yourself thinking what you want to be. Have a dream – get inspired. If you want to reach the moon, you will. But have a dream in the first place. If you have completed 10th class, now is the time to put in some serious thought about what you want to be in life. Do it before its too late; before opportunities start closing. I know it is hard to make a choice because it is all so confusing, but that’s the way it is – to live in this competitive world sometimes one has to work hard.
5. Take advise. Seek Counsel. But accept none. That’s the right attitude. This is the point of time when you will hear hundreds of people telling you what is good for you. What they suggest may be with best intentions in mind, but it need not be suitable to you all the same. So listen to everyone, but accept just to what you feel is right for you. This is very important, and most of the confusion arises due to blindly taking everyone’s views in.
6. Trust yourself – if you won’t then who will? You know your potential the best. People will say this subject is so hard, that subject is so boring, etc. That is their opinion. Not yours. If you wish to realize your dreams, come out with flying colors, then you must also be ready to give what it takes to get there. And if you lose hope listening to some person whose resolve was not strong enough, then you are already out of the race. So, trust yourself, and make a strong resolve – it is essential. If you won’t do it today, then when will you do it?
7. Research. Find out what are the options and places where you can study/work. Select the organizations carefully and understand how to get admission into them. Once this is done – your goals are set and its time to prepare yourself to give your best!
If you keep these things in mind it should be a lot easier to go about selecting your career. It is understandable that at school level you will have little idea about what kinds of courses you will have to study, what kind of work you will have to do etc. Here are a few broad guidelines to help you zero down to the field of your interest:
1. Identify the things that really fascinate you – Space, movies, machines, automobiles, weapons, ships, crime investigation – could be just anything. Make a comprehensive list of such things. Do not include hobbies or pastimes in this list. So reading, writing, eating, cooking etc. are not part of this.
2. Make a wish list – this is can have all kinds of crazy things you want in life… any thing and everything. You want it just put it in there – whether it is owning a BMW or, meeting Amir Khan, put it all in there… Make it whacky, and creative. That is your wish list and just yours.
3. Think of things/ activities close to your heart – children, helping the poor, protecting the nation, making justice, inventing new things, could be just some of them.
4. Make a list of hobbies – hobbies decide how you would like to deliver your learning or experience. I love writing; I write blogs, because I always wanted to and I am fascinated by psychology and philosophy - so my writing generally is like this. By clubbing your fascination with your hobbies you can find fields of work or study that you will really love to be in. All kinds of possibilities are there - your imagination is the limit! So make a list of things you love doing –you can put reading, writing, music, sports etc in here.
5. List out the subjects/topics you enjoyed the most till now as far as studies at school level are concerned. Think in terms of how much you are interested in learning more about these subjects, and whether the subjects fascinate you.
6. Find out the best colleges/ organizations in the country where you can seek to be admitted/employed. It is always important to aim for the best. That’s when your effort will take you places. Make a list of these colleges, and assign weightages to each depending on how badly you want to get there.
7. It is also important to have a measure of scales – about your performance in school. Lots of times, colleges just don’t accept lower percentage students. That’s just their policy, and we have to put up with it. If you do not qualify, it makes you no less competent. So, write down your scores somewhere – just for reference.
Spend enough time with this procedure – some do it in 2 – 3 days, while some may take 1 or 2 weeks. But make sure you do justice to it… and are satisfied by your work. Once you feel that, lock it and preserve your thoughts and dreams.
Well you have got some lists in hand now. Depending on your analysis, discuss what you want to become with peers, and teachers. Do not budge from the lists you have made. They were the result of careful contemplation. Others may say many nice things, but if they were really that nice, they would have struck you earlier. As I mentioned earlier, take advice but do not accept it. Clarify all your fears, doubts and questions from people, Internet or other trusted sources. If you like any of the alternatives, just confirm about it with 1 or two more sources and set your goals. Once you do this am sure you will feel light-headed. Of course, there will be anxiety about how to go about reaching your goals and what to do next. That’s a different ball-game altogether. The ones with strongest determination and iron resolve are the winners there. With proper guidance and support, and dedicated and systematic work from your side, am sure you can make it to anywhere you want. But first resolve this quandary – “What do you want to do in life?” and everything else will fall in place☺
What I have asked you to do is by no means a casual activity – you must do it seriously and persistently if it has to bear result. If you cannot be serious about what you want to become, then who do you think will be? Trust me, no one. Now is the time to take control of your life and start thinking of the future. If you have just finished 10th class, I urge you not to waste any more time – set your goals and get going!
The philosophy for making a choice at any other point in life, I feel is also similar. Whether it the confusion after graduation about doing an MBA, or going for higher studies, or taking up a job, or it is about changing from one job to another, choices have to be made at every step, and can be quite confusing. I believe the confusion arises from not knowing your own passions properly, because we hardly spend time thinking of all this. So, the same ideology can be applied for taking any decision in general - I have written it for a friend, but it is not limited to that situation - I believe it is suitable for all.
Finally, I wish you all the best in all your endeavors. May success be yours☺
Friday 27 May 2011
A Question of Identity – “Who am I”?
Today’s life is very fast paced – every one is handling multiple responsibilities at the same time. There are deadlines everywhere – and these make “Living” literally “avoiding death” (working in deadlines). Working professionals, students, retired civilians, unemployed youth, and even children are continuously subjected to stress everyday. The purpose and meaning of life are now defined by strange looking professional goals, which decide the “worth” of an individual. Why is this happening? Among this rat race to be on top where are you? And where am I? Forget where I am, I don’t even know who I am! Such is the situation in today’s world, and no one cares to think about it. All are blindly doing what they are “supposed” to do – celebrating successes and crying over failures.
Make a list of things you do from the moment you get up in the morning till you go to bed at night. Also write down “for whom” you did that piece of work, and “why” you did it. If you are like me – you will be surprised to see your name hardly appears anywhere in the whole list. But it was supposed to be “your life”! Then where has your name vanished? How come you see names of relatives, employers, friends and businessmen in the list?
When I was an infant, I would laugh when I wanted to and cry when I wanted to.
As I grew older I was taught to be reasonable and responsible, practical and logical. Now I have to cry when I fail courses and laugh when I top them. My happiness is a strong function of my friends, my parents, employers, and every other person I meet. Is that my Identity? Is that what I am? It is just shocking to realize it…
Every day we switch into various “shoes” where our behavior is conditioned to be in a specific way – a student must be tidy, disciplined, punctual etc. and whether or not these qualities define you, if you are a student you are expected to follow suit. Believe me – this is the solemn cause for all major tensions in the world.
The same problem causes innumerable break – ups in today’s couples – it is just the question – Am I “Me” or “her Boyfriend”? And the conflict becomes so strong that there is identity crisis, and the couple breaks apart. They actually love each other, but cannot put up with their differences – how sad! It really hurts and is a traumatic experience…
The crux of the whole thought is we feel stressed because most of the time we “live for others” and it is very artificial to us, but society demands it and we have no way out but to conform to it. But at the same time it is absolutely essential to discover oneself, because it is his/her natural form – which is the most comfortable to live with. And it is essential to assume this form from time to time whether others like it or not. It is very personal, and everyone has a right to claim his or her space in a social setup. Then only it is possible to release the stresses, work better and be happy.
There is no rule written that Love happens between compatible personalities only; in fact it generally happens in opposite personalities… and it is important to respect and accept the identity of one’s partner and let him/her have ample space to release the stress. Doing will make things very easy and happy.
How, then can you discover your identity? There are 2 major parts to it – Reflection and Expression.
For the reflection part - ask yourself more questions about yourself – your likes, dislikes, turn- on’ s etc. It might sound stupid – why would you ask yourself these? After all they are your likes and dislikes, right? But it makes a lot of difference to reinforce them – eat your favorite flavor of ice cream occasionally, read your favorite novel if you feel like. Enjoy it, and be done with it. Make a list of all the things you want to do in life and assert your individuality - "THIS IS WHAT I AM AND I LOVE TO BE ME"... Believe me you will see the world in a completely new perspective and the effect is immediate...
Expression is the tougher and more important part. If mastered it gives you a strong sense of individuality – a uniqueness that you will love to have, to nurture and be proud of. It consists of expressing your thoughts and feelings to others in a polite but assertive fashion. Avoid getting into long debates with people – especially with close friends. If there is a debate there is a difference of opinion – which means there is a clash in identity. Do not budge from your stand, at the same time accept that what he/she feels is right for him/her and you respect that fact. Get rid of sarcasm during conversations with loved ones, it does no good. Besides, find ways to express and enforce your feelings by discussing them with people who understand how you feel. Share your thoughts with such people and reinforce your personality. Other creative ways to express yourself include writing prose (I am doing that right now) or composing music of your taste, or making paintings, taking photographs, videos… the list is endless. But all these are forms of YOUR Expression and will help you discover yourself much better.
What I have written over here is my personal belief, my feelings about the topic. It is not my intention to "preach" any of this - it just reinforces my thoughts about how to establish my identity. It may be inappropriate in some ways to you, but then if it just triggers a thought about who you think you are - then i have done my part of it :)
So, I have found my way of expression – have you found yours? If not get going on this wonderful journey to answer the question “WHO AM I”?
I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM; I AM WHAT I THINK I AM.
P.S: Listen to “The Logical Song” by Supertramp. Quite similar in meaning ☺
Make a list of things you do from the moment you get up in the morning till you go to bed at night. Also write down “for whom” you did that piece of work, and “why” you did it. If you are like me – you will be surprised to see your name hardly appears anywhere in the whole list. But it was supposed to be “your life”! Then where has your name vanished? How come you see names of relatives, employers, friends and businessmen in the list?
When I was an infant, I would laugh when I wanted to and cry when I wanted to.
As I grew older I was taught to be reasonable and responsible, practical and logical. Now I have to cry when I fail courses and laugh when I top them. My happiness is a strong function of my friends, my parents, employers, and every other person I meet. Is that my Identity? Is that what I am? It is just shocking to realize it…
Every day we switch into various “shoes” where our behavior is conditioned to be in a specific way – a student must be tidy, disciplined, punctual etc. and whether or not these qualities define you, if you are a student you are expected to follow suit. Believe me – this is the solemn cause for all major tensions in the world.
The same problem causes innumerable break – ups in today’s couples – it is just the question – Am I “Me” or “her Boyfriend”? And the conflict becomes so strong that there is identity crisis, and the couple breaks apart. They actually love each other, but cannot put up with their differences – how sad! It really hurts and is a traumatic experience…
The crux of the whole thought is we feel stressed because most of the time we “live for others” and it is very artificial to us, but society demands it and we have no way out but to conform to it. But at the same time it is absolutely essential to discover oneself, because it is his/her natural form – which is the most comfortable to live with. And it is essential to assume this form from time to time whether others like it or not. It is very personal, and everyone has a right to claim his or her space in a social setup. Then only it is possible to release the stresses, work better and be happy.
There is no rule written that Love happens between compatible personalities only; in fact it generally happens in opposite personalities… and it is important to respect and accept the identity of one’s partner and let him/her have ample space to release the stress. Doing will make things very easy and happy.
How, then can you discover your identity? There are 2 major parts to it – Reflection and Expression.
For the reflection part - ask yourself more questions about yourself – your likes, dislikes, turn- on’ s etc. It might sound stupid – why would you ask yourself these? After all they are your likes and dislikes, right? But it makes a lot of difference to reinforce them – eat your favorite flavor of ice cream occasionally, read your favorite novel if you feel like. Enjoy it, and be done with it. Make a list of all the things you want to do in life and assert your individuality - "THIS IS WHAT I AM AND I LOVE TO BE ME"... Believe me you will see the world in a completely new perspective and the effect is immediate...
Expression is the tougher and more important part. If mastered it gives you a strong sense of individuality – a uniqueness that you will love to have, to nurture and be proud of. It consists of expressing your thoughts and feelings to others in a polite but assertive fashion. Avoid getting into long debates with people – especially with close friends. If there is a debate there is a difference of opinion – which means there is a clash in identity. Do not budge from your stand, at the same time accept that what he/she feels is right for him/her and you respect that fact. Get rid of sarcasm during conversations with loved ones, it does no good. Besides, find ways to express and enforce your feelings by discussing them with people who understand how you feel. Share your thoughts with such people and reinforce your personality. Other creative ways to express yourself include writing prose (I am doing that right now) or composing music of your taste, or making paintings, taking photographs, videos… the list is endless. But all these are forms of YOUR Expression and will help you discover yourself much better.
What I have written over here is my personal belief, my feelings about the topic. It is not my intention to "preach" any of this - it just reinforces my thoughts about how to establish my identity. It may be inappropriate in some ways to you, but then if it just triggers a thought about who you think you are - then i have done my part of it :)
So, I have found my way of expression – have you found yours? If not get going on this wonderful journey to answer the question “WHO AM I”?
I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM; I AM WHAT I THINK I AM.
P.S: Listen to “The Logical Song” by Supertramp. Quite similar in meaning ☺
Thursday 26 May 2011
The Death of a "Feeling"
Recently I read a blog post from a fellow blogger, where she mentioned how the feeling of “Love” in couples these days lacks the “warmth” that it used to have. After thinking upon this for quite some time, I had some startling realizations – which made my hair stand on end. I feel it is important for one and all to realize these things because sooner or later they are going to affect us – affect mankind.
So, what is all this fuss about? Well, we human beings consider ourselves far superior to other birds and animals, because we can “think” and “feel” a variety of intellectual and emotional content. Accepted, though we have no means to verify if animals and birds also have equally complex feelings. But think of it – is our capacity to “feel” the same today, as it was yesterday? I doubt it. And that is what worries me the most.
Many times I have come across teenagers and young men swearing at each other:
A: “Hey “$%^&” how do you do?” and B happily replies:
B: I am great “&%$#”, how are you?
And they both have a nice laugh and continue this most interesting conversation. Ask yourself – what is happening here? Why does the abuse have no effect at all on the other person? Well, apparently they are “used” to speaking such a language… and so they know, its alright if they are abused… But do you sense the death of a “feeling” here?
The television and Internet have taken over all information transfer completely. They have variety of advertisements, movies, programs, videos etc. To my dismay most of it is becoming very senseless these days – just as senseless as those two people abusing each other without the teensiest effect. And as time passes, those exposed to such crude programs that use emotions wrongly, are also gradually getting de-sensitized… Every other movie is a love story – and so a 13 year old will tell you 50 different kinds of love story. Now how special do you think will a feeling like “Love” be to that kid? Feelings like mother’s affection are being used to advertise mosquito repellents… what kind of crazy association is this? It is really sad that we have created technology for our convenience but in the process are killing our own emotional superiority…
Take the word “Fuck”. It is used for just anything and everything… the actual feeling associated with it is DEAD for all practical purposes. Everyone knows its “definition” but it is used everywhere without reason, and whatever was the feeling associated with the word is now practically extinct. Even 8 – 9 year olds use the word now.
Can you see what I am worried about? If extinction of animals, energy resources, birds and natural resources is a concern then extinction of “FEELINGS” is a much more important concern! Think of it – 100 years down the line people will be talking all kinds of weird things, with blunt minds that cannot feel emotions!! May be dogs will have more emotional capacity than humans then – lucky dogs do not watch TV!!
The poems and texts written by renowned authors of the past like Kalidasa, Veda Vyasa etc. do not interest the current generation youth much – can you now see reason? The feelings that existed well preserved due to careful and precise usage of language and expression during that golden era are extinct now, and sadly there is no way to get them back, just no way!! The words of the texts remain, but nothing of the feelings associated exist…
I am really concerned about the fate of future generations… I wish people who work for media, marketing, and other kind of public activities take appropriate measures to preserve feelings by using them appropriately and occasionally to avoid excess dilution. I urge all readers to make it a practice to speak while actually keeping in mind the feeling associated and to learn to evoke precise feelings at appropriate times.
Luckily, Indian languages still have not lost the feelings as much as English… no wonder talking in Hindi sometimes gives us that “warm brotherly or sisterly” feeling that we hardly ever get while using English… But even Hindi has started losing some of its charm of late, thanks to all kinds of commercials in Hindi, and of course Bollywood. The only language, whose literature is untarnished, shines bright and free of any kind of dilution or loss of feeling is – Sanskrit. I urge readers to at least try (whenever there is leisure) to learn some Sanskrit and read available literature… I have tried it, and though it is slightly difficult (mainly because the feelings have been lost in daily life) once you get used to it, it is so beautiful…
Last but not the least it is a request to all readers to spread this message to all your friends, because the uniqueness of mankind is at stake…
Thank you for patiently going through the writing. Hope it was useful.
So, what is all this fuss about? Well, we human beings consider ourselves far superior to other birds and animals, because we can “think” and “feel” a variety of intellectual and emotional content. Accepted, though we have no means to verify if animals and birds also have equally complex feelings. But think of it – is our capacity to “feel” the same today, as it was yesterday? I doubt it. And that is what worries me the most.
Many times I have come across teenagers and young men swearing at each other:
A: “Hey “$%^&” how do you do?” and B happily replies:
B: I am great “&%$#”, how are you?
And they both have a nice laugh and continue this most interesting conversation. Ask yourself – what is happening here? Why does the abuse have no effect at all on the other person? Well, apparently they are “used” to speaking such a language… and so they know, its alright if they are abused… But do you sense the death of a “feeling” here?
The television and Internet have taken over all information transfer completely. They have variety of advertisements, movies, programs, videos etc. To my dismay most of it is becoming very senseless these days – just as senseless as those two people abusing each other without the teensiest effect. And as time passes, those exposed to such crude programs that use emotions wrongly, are also gradually getting de-sensitized… Every other movie is a love story – and so a 13 year old will tell you 50 different kinds of love story. Now how special do you think will a feeling like “Love” be to that kid? Feelings like mother’s affection are being used to advertise mosquito repellents… what kind of crazy association is this? It is really sad that we have created technology for our convenience but in the process are killing our own emotional superiority…
Take the word “Fuck”. It is used for just anything and everything… the actual feeling associated with it is DEAD for all practical purposes. Everyone knows its “definition” but it is used everywhere without reason, and whatever was the feeling associated with the word is now practically extinct. Even 8 – 9 year olds use the word now.
Can you see what I am worried about? If extinction of animals, energy resources, birds and natural resources is a concern then extinction of “FEELINGS” is a much more important concern! Think of it – 100 years down the line people will be talking all kinds of weird things, with blunt minds that cannot feel emotions!! May be dogs will have more emotional capacity than humans then – lucky dogs do not watch TV!!
The poems and texts written by renowned authors of the past like Kalidasa, Veda Vyasa etc. do not interest the current generation youth much – can you now see reason? The feelings that existed well preserved due to careful and precise usage of language and expression during that golden era are extinct now, and sadly there is no way to get them back, just no way!! The words of the texts remain, but nothing of the feelings associated exist…
I am really concerned about the fate of future generations… I wish people who work for media, marketing, and other kind of public activities take appropriate measures to preserve feelings by using them appropriately and occasionally to avoid excess dilution. I urge all readers to make it a practice to speak while actually keeping in mind the feeling associated and to learn to evoke precise feelings at appropriate times.
Luckily, Indian languages still have not lost the feelings as much as English… no wonder talking in Hindi sometimes gives us that “warm brotherly or sisterly” feeling that we hardly ever get while using English… But even Hindi has started losing some of its charm of late, thanks to all kinds of commercials in Hindi, and of course Bollywood. The only language, whose literature is untarnished, shines bright and free of any kind of dilution or loss of feeling is – Sanskrit. I urge readers to at least try (whenever there is leisure) to learn some Sanskrit and read available literature… I have tried it, and though it is slightly difficult (mainly because the feelings have been lost in daily life) once you get used to it, it is so beautiful…
Last but not the least it is a request to all readers to spread this message to all your friends, because the uniqueness of mankind is at stake…
Thank you for patiently going through the writing. Hope it was useful.
Monday 11 April 2011
Poem Dedicated to Friends
When you say “I am There”
I wonder what magic you bear,
When you just say “I am there”
Just when things all fall apart
When my body trembles with fear,
I wonder what happens dear
When you just say “I am here”
Till today it’s a mystery to me
Even at the worst moments of time
Just when all seems lost
When I am just about to succumb to the toil,
How my lips break widen into a smile
When you just say “Your troubles are mine”
Life is a long journey
And I am progressing in leaps and bounds
And I am extremely lucky,
You are really God – sent
Coz had it not been for you my friend,
I wonder where the journey would end…
By N.C. Puneeth
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)