Choosing A Career Path – “The Eternal Quandary”

Am writing this, for a friend of mine, who is at the moment facing the “difficult” situation we all go through after 10th class – deciding a career path. So many options, and so many people advising you left right and center – makes things no better… actually it just adds to the confusion and many a times students tend to make wrong choices under the pressure. Having experienced such a situation myself, I have some tips for you, to make a smooth and well-balanced selection.

1. Understand that whatever subject or career you choose, YOU have to study/work in that field at least for some time. That is because you have chosen the discipline and all its requirements and rules apply to you.
2. It is also necessary to know that the subject you study during graduation is NOT the only possible line you will be limited to upon its completion. In fact, most of the graduates change fields after graduation. This is because market now looks for people with interdisciplinary knowledge – gone are the days when people with an expertise in a single field are valued highly; now a days people look out for interdisciplinary expertise. So combinations like engineering with MBA, or even Law, have high value in the market. And of course, you can super – specialize and stick to the subject you took at graduate level too, if you really loved the discipline.
So, keep your mind open for exploring all kinds of opportunities.
3. All the disciplines have exciting career opportunities. If you are passionate about your field nothing will stop you from excelling in it, and even earning decent money in the process. So just focus on what kind of things interest you.
4. The choice, at the end is YOURS, it is not your parents’ or friend’s or mine. It is just yours. So, spend some time to yourself thinking what you want to be. Have a dream – get inspired. If you want to reach the moon, you will. But have a dream in the first place. If you have completed 10th class, now is the time to put in some serious thought about what you want to be in life. Do it before its too late; before opportunities start closing. I know it is hard to make a choice because it is all so confusing, but that’s the way it is – to live in this competitive world sometimes one has to work hard.
5. Take advise. Seek Counsel. But accept none. That’s the right attitude. This is the point of time when you will hear hundreds of people telling you what is good for you. What they suggest may be with best intentions in mind, but it need not be suitable to you all the same. So listen to everyone, but accept just to what you feel is right for you. This is very important, and most of the confusion arises due to blindly taking everyone’s views in.
6. Trust yourself – if you won’t then who will? You know your potential the best. People will say this subject is so hard, that subject is so boring, etc. That is their opinion. Not yours. If you wish to realize your dreams, come out with flying colors, then you must also be ready to give what it takes to get there. And if you lose hope listening to some person whose resolve was not strong enough, then you are already out of the race. So, trust yourself, and make a strong resolve – it is essential. If you won’t do it today, then when will you do it?
7. Research. Find out what are the options and places where you can study/work. Select the organizations carefully and understand how to get admission into them. Once this is done – your goals are set and its time to prepare yourself to give your best!

If you keep these things in mind it should be a lot easier to go about selecting your career. It is understandable that at school level you will have little idea about what kinds of courses you will have to study, what kind of work you will have to do etc. Here are a few broad guidelines to help you zero down to the field of your interest:


1. Identify the things that really fascinate you – Space, movies, machines, automobiles, weapons, ships, crime investigation – could be just anything. Make a comprehensive list of such things. Do not include hobbies or pastimes in this list. So reading, writing, eating, cooking etc. are not part of this.
2. Make a wish list – this is can have all kinds of crazy things you want in life… any thing and everything. You want it just put it in there – whether it is owning a BMW or, meeting Amir Khan, put it all in there… Make it whacky, and creative. That is your wish list and just yours.
3. Think of things/ activities close to your heart – children, helping the poor, protecting the nation, making justice, inventing new things, could be just some of them.
4. Make a list of hobbies – hobbies decide how you would like to deliver your learning or experience. I love writing; I write blogs, because I always wanted to and I am fascinated by psychology and philosophy - so my writing generally is like this. By clubbing your fascination with your hobbies you can find fields of work or study that you will really love to be in. All kinds of possibilities are there - your imagination is the limit! So make a list of things you love doing –you can put reading, writing, music, sports etc in here.
5. List out the subjects/topics you enjoyed the most till now as far as studies at school level are concerned. Think in terms of how much you are interested in learning more about these subjects, and whether the subjects fascinate you.
6. Find out the best colleges/ organizations in the country where you can seek to be admitted/employed. It is always important to aim for the best. That’s when your effort will take you places. Make a list of these colleges, and assign weightages to each depending on how badly you want to get there.
7. It is also important to have a measure of scales – about your performance in school. Lots of times, colleges just don’t accept lower percentage students. That’s just their policy, and we have to put up with it. If you do not qualify, it makes you no less competent. So, write down your scores somewhere – just for reference.


Spend enough time with this procedure – some do it in 2 – 3 days, while some may take 1 or 2 weeks. But make sure you do justice to it… and are satisfied by your work. Once you feel that, lock it and preserve your thoughts and dreams.

Well you have got some lists in hand now. Depending on your analysis, discuss what you want to become with peers, and teachers. Do not budge from the lists you have made. They were the result of careful contemplation. Others may say many nice things, but if they were really that nice, they would have struck you earlier. As I mentioned earlier, take advice but do not accept it. Clarify all your fears, doubts and questions from people, Internet or other trusted sources. If you like any of the alternatives, just confirm about it with 1 or two more sources and set your goals. Once you do this am sure you will feel light-headed. Of course, there will be anxiety about how to go about reaching your goals and what to do next. That’s a different ball-game altogether. The ones with strongest determination and iron resolve are the winners there. With proper guidance and support, and dedicated and systematic work from your side, am sure you can make it to anywhere you want. But first resolve this quandary – “What do you want to do in life?” and everything else will fall in place☺

What I have asked you to do is by no means a casual activity – you must do it seriously and persistently if it has to bear result. If you cannot be serious about what you want to become, then who do you think will be? Trust me, no one. Now is the time to take control of your life and start thinking of the future. If you have just finished 10th class, I urge you not to waste any more time – set your goals and get going!

The philosophy for making a choice at any other point in life, I feel is also similar. Whether it the confusion after graduation about doing an MBA, or going for higher studies, or taking up a job, or it is about changing from one job to another, choices have to be made at every step, and can be quite confusing. I believe the confusion arises from not knowing your own passions properly, because we hardly spend time thinking of all this. So, the same ideology can be applied for taking any decision in general - I have written it for a friend, but it is not limited to that situation - I believe it is suitable for all.

Finally, I wish you all the best in all your endeavors. May success be yours☺

A Question of Identity – “Who am I”?

Today’s life is very fast paced – every one is handling multiple responsibilities at the same time. There are deadlines everywhere – and these make “Living” literally “avoiding death” (working in deadlines). Working professionals, students, retired civilians, unemployed youth, and even children are continuously subjected to stress everyday. The purpose and meaning of life are now defined by strange looking professional goals, which decide the “worth” of an individual. Why is this happening? Among this rat race to be on top where are you? And where am I? Forget where I am, I don’t even know who I am! Such is the situation in today’s world, and no one cares to think about it. All are blindly doing what they are “supposed” to do – celebrating successes and crying over failures.

Make a list of things you do from the moment you get up in the morning till you go to bed at night. Also write down “for whom” you did that piece of work, and “why” you did it. If you are like me – you will be surprised to see your name hardly appears anywhere in the whole list. But it was supposed to be “your life”! Then where has your name vanished? How come you see names of relatives, employers, friends and businessmen in the list?

When I was an infant, I would laugh when I wanted to and cry when I wanted to.
As I grew older I was taught to be reasonable and responsible, practical and logical. Now I have to cry when I fail courses and laugh when I top them. My happiness is a strong function of my friends, my parents, employers, and every other person I meet. Is that my Identity? Is that what I am? It is just shocking to realize it…

Every day we switch into various “shoes” where our behavior is conditioned to be in a specific way – a student must be tidy, disciplined, punctual etc. and whether or not these qualities define you, if you are a student you are expected to follow suit. Believe me – this is the solemn cause for all major tensions in the world.

The same problem causes innumerable break – ups in today’s couples – it is just the question – Am I “Me” or “her Boyfriend”? And the conflict becomes so strong that there is identity crisis, and the couple breaks apart. They actually love each other, but cannot put up with their differences – how sad! It really hurts and is a traumatic experience…

The crux of the whole thought is we feel stressed because most of the time we “live for others” and it is very artificial to us, but society demands it and we have no way out but to conform to it. But at the same time it is absolutely essential to discover oneself, because it is his/her natural form – which is the most comfortable to live with. And it is essential to assume this form from time to time whether others like it or not. It is very personal, and everyone has a right to claim his or her space in a social setup. Then only it is possible to release the stresses, work better and be happy.


There is no rule written that Love happens between compatible personalities only; in fact it generally happens in opposite personalities… and it is important to respect and accept the identity of one’s partner and let him/her have ample space to release the stress. Doing will make things very easy and happy.

How, then can you discover your identity? There are 2 major parts to it – Reflection and Expression.

For the reflection part - ask yourself more questions about yourself – your likes, dislikes, turn- on’ s etc. It might sound stupid – why would you ask yourself these? After all they are your likes and dislikes, right? But it makes a lot of difference to reinforce them – eat your favorite flavor of ice cream occasionally, read your favorite novel if you feel like. Enjoy it, and be done with it. Make a list of all the things you want to do in life and assert your individuality - "THIS IS WHAT I AM AND I LOVE TO BE ME"... Believe me you will see the world in a completely new perspective and the effect is immediate...

Expression is the tougher and more important part. If mastered it gives you a strong sense of individuality – a uniqueness that you will love to have, to nurture and be proud of. It consists of expressing your thoughts and feelings to others in a polite but assertive fashion. Avoid getting into long debates with people – especially with close friends. If there is a debate there is a difference of opinion – which means there is a clash in identity. Do not budge from your stand, at the same time accept that what he/she feels is right for him/her and you respect that fact. Get rid of sarcasm during conversations with loved ones, it does no good. Besides, find ways to express and enforce your feelings by discussing them with people who understand how you feel. Share your thoughts with such people and reinforce your personality. Other creative ways to express yourself include writing prose (I am doing that right now) or composing music of your taste, or making paintings, taking photographs, videos… the list is endless. But all these are forms of YOUR Expression and will help you discover yourself much better.

What I have written over here is my personal belief, my feelings about the topic. It is not my intention to "preach" any of this - it just reinforces my thoughts about how to establish my identity. It may be inappropriate in some ways to you, but then if it just triggers a thought about who you think you are - then i have done my part of it :)

So, I have found my way of expression – have you found yours? If not get going on this wonderful journey to answer the question “WHO AM I”?

I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM; I AM WHAT I THINK I AM.

P.S: Listen to “The Logical Song” by Supertramp. Quite similar in meaning ☺

The Death of a "Feeling"

Recently I read a blog post from a fellow blogger, where she mentioned how the feeling of “Love” in couples these days lacks the “warmth” that it used to have. After thinking upon this for quite some time, I had some startling realizations – which made my hair stand on end. I feel it is important for one and all to realize these things because sooner or later they are going to affect us – affect mankind.

So, what is all this fuss about? Well, we human beings consider ourselves far superior to other birds and animals, because we can “think” and “feel” a variety of intellectual and emotional content. Accepted, though we have no means to verify if animals and birds also have equally complex feelings. But think of it – is our capacity to “feel” the same today, as it was yesterday? I doubt it. And that is what worries me the most.

Many times I have come across teenagers and young men swearing at each other:
A: “Hey “$%^&” how do you do?” and B happily replies:
B: I am great “&%$#”, how are you?

And they both have a nice laugh and continue this most interesting conversation. Ask yourself – what is happening here? Why does the abuse have no effect at all on the other person? Well, apparently they are “used” to speaking such a language… and so they know, its alright if they are abused… But do you sense the death of a “feeling” here?

The television and Internet have taken over all information transfer completely. They have variety of advertisements, movies, programs, videos etc. To my dismay most of it is becoming very senseless these days – just as senseless as those two people abusing each other without the teensiest effect. And as time passes, those exposed to such crude programs that use emotions wrongly, are also gradually getting de-sensitized… Every other movie is a love story – and so a 13 year old will tell you 50 different kinds of love story. Now how special do you think will a feeling like “Love” be to that kid? Feelings like mother’s affection are being used to advertise mosquito repellents… what kind of crazy association is this? It is really sad that we have created technology for our convenience but in the process are killing our own emotional superiority…

Take the word “Fuck”. It is used for just anything and everything… the actual feeling associated with it is DEAD for all practical purposes. Everyone knows its “definition” but it is used everywhere without reason, and whatever was the feeling associated with the word is now practically extinct. Even 8 – 9 year olds use the word now.

Can you see what I am worried about? If extinction of animals, energy resources, birds and natural resources is a concern then extinction of “FEELINGS” is a much more important concern! Think of it – 100 years down the line people will be talking all kinds of weird things, with blunt minds that cannot feel emotions!! May be dogs will have more emotional capacity than humans then – lucky dogs do not watch TV!!

The poems and texts written by renowned authors of the past like Kalidasa, Veda Vyasa etc. do not interest the current generation youth much – can you now see reason? The feelings that existed well preserved due to careful and precise usage of language and expression during that golden era are extinct now, and sadly there is no way to get them back, just no way!! The words of the texts remain, but nothing of the feelings associated exist…

I am really concerned about the fate of future generations… I wish people who work for media, marketing, and other kind of public activities take appropriate measures to preserve feelings by using them appropriately and occasionally to avoid excess dilution. I urge all readers to make it a practice to speak while actually keeping in mind the feeling associated and to learn to evoke precise feelings at appropriate times.

Luckily, Indian languages still have not lost the feelings as much as English… no wonder talking in Hindi sometimes gives us that “warm brotherly or sisterly” feeling that we hardly ever get while using English… But even Hindi has started losing some of its charm of late, thanks to all kinds of commercials in Hindi, and of course Bollywood. The only language, whose literature is untarnished, shines bright and free of any kind of dilution or loss of feeling is – Sanskrit. I urge readers to at least try (whenever there is leisure) to learn some Sanskrit and read available literature… I have tried it, and though it is slightly difficult (mainly because the feelings have been lost in daily life) once you get used to it, it is so beautiful…

Last but not the least it is a request to all readers to spread this message to all your friends, because the uniqueness of mankind is at stake…

Thank you for patiently going through the writing. Hope it was useful.